The Crazied Tales of a Crazied Person
by WriterToTheAngels
Summary: A story of what happens when me and my friend decide to drag a not so willing FullMetal Alchemist into our lives and make the school go Up side down! rated for lang
1. Chapter 1

**Tales of Ms.Lomans art class!**

Chapter one:The craziness of it all...

Disclaimer: Nothing in this belongs to me.Not the school.Not Ed.Not Al.Not the crazied chinese people in the next chapter >> just me and brita.thats All!

Brita and Sam both enterted the building at their local jr./high school.S.C.P.A, ah the blue sky was a tender array of blues and whites.The lovely smell in the air would have anyone bowing to their knees.Sam and Brita got to a table just before the other students piled into the class room.

Sam: So Brita-chan,you wouldn't happen to know where Ed is, would you?

Brita: Nani? Well actually...

Sam looks at Brita, puzzled by her reaction. Until finally a metal fist had slammed into her head, causing her to cry a bit in detress.

Ed stood behind her,looking slightly annoyed.he leaned a bit into the young gal's face,and sighed and pulled back

Ed: And here I thought I would escape this class with a bit of peace. Just one hour at the most... of peace.

Sam: And here I thought I'd escape this class with all my braincells!

Ed: Ha,serves you right! I've got no time for your gestures. sigh why do I even bother following you if all your going to do is glomp,hug,ect. annoy me?

Sam: Why are you asking me? I'm not psycic you know!

Ed: You said you were the last time I came!

The teacher came to and told Edward to sit down and keep his yap shut.  
Sam sighed a bit as Ed sat next to her.

Ed: So whats the project today?

Brita: Its painting Ed,and well...

Ed: well what?

Brita: Your elbows kinda...in the paint..

Ed: Nani!

Ed looked down to his elbow..and sure enough.

Sam started to laugh as Ed fell out his chair, gnawing away at his coat in an attempt to get the paint stained cloth off of him.

Sam: Okay okay,I'll help you Ed,just stop that!You're gonna kill me in comedy!

Sam pulled off Ed's coat for him while Brita helped him up and sat him back down.Ed sighed and poked Sam as she sat back down.

Sam: What in the world was that for?

Ed: Nothing. You're just fun to poke

Sam shook her head

Sam:I do wonder Ed, I seriously do

Ed: Wonder 'bout what?

Sam: Thats simple,about the size of your brain

Ed took his fist and slammed it into Sam's head,possibly rattling a few brain cells in the process.

Sam:OW!why you...

Sam poked Ed back, Ed flinched a bit and poked her back.

Sam: This is getting nowhere.

Brita: Why don't you sing sam?

Ed: Spare..me..

Brita: Shush ed!

Sam shruged and started humming the beginning of Almost by BFS

Sam: I almost got drunk at school at 14 where I almost made out with the homecoming king who almost went on to Mr.Texas but lost to a slut with much bigger umm...somethings!  
and I almost dropped outta school to move to L.A where I was almost famous for almost a day And I almost had you, but I guess that doesn't cut it Almost loved you.I almost wished you wouldda loved me too

Sam started to dance around the table, thankfully the teacher was out of the room on an errand. Ed sighed a bit, this time not in annoyance, which was new.

Sam: I almost held up a grocuery store where I almost did five years and then seven more cause I almost got popped for a fight with a thug cause he almost made off with a bunch of good drugs that Ialmost got hooked on cause you ran away, and I wish I wouldda had the nerve to ask you to stay!

And I almost had you, but I guess that doesn't cut it I almost had you ,and I didn't even know it you kept me guessing and now I'm destined to spend my time missing you I almost wished you wouldda loved me too

Ed shook his head a bit,and forced sam to sit before the teacher caught her.

Sam: Here I--MEEP!

Ed: Finish the song later.

Thankfully the teacher then left to do yet another important thing. The other students blocked the door off once they knew she had left.

Brita: Now you can finish your song!

Sam: Is that okay with you ed?

Ed: Go on,I don't really care.

Sam: Yeah yeah,okay.

Sam cleared her throat and started from where she left off.

Sam: Here I go thinkin' bout all the things I could have done I'm gonna need a forklift cause all the bad years weighs a ton I know we had our problems I can't remember one...

I almost forgot to say something else,  
and if I can't fit it in I'll keep it all to myself I almost wrote a song about you today but I tore it all up and then I threw it away

and I almost had you, but I guess that doesn't cut it Almost had you, and I didn't even know it You kept me guessing and now I'm destined to spend my time missing you

and I almost had, Almost had, Almost had you I almost wished you wouldda loved me, Wished ya wouldda loved me too

As Sam finished the last line, she winked over at ed, he turned away looking annoyed again.  
Brita started to clap and ed looked back to the door. Thankfully no one would be able to get in, for every cabinet had blocked both doors and all the windows were locked, basically no one could get in or out.

Everyother student in the class was partying their heads off. And to think lunch was right after this period...

Brita: Today is more chaotic then last week. I think you both know which last week I'm speaking of...

Brita looked at both sam and ed with a sort of gleam in her eyes. The kind of gleam that tells many that one knows more of what you're talking about then they lead on.  
Ed sighed and got up from the table, he walked over to one of the cabinets and transmuted it into a wooden tv, not that they really needed a tv to recap what Brita was talking about, but it probably would help.

Sam: I know what she's talking about Ed, theres no need to make a tv to--

Ed: I'm watching the news is all. I already know you knew what she was going on about.

**End Chapter.**

A/N: so what are theses odd people going to do in the next chapter?What weirdness happened last last week! WHY DID ED MAKE A TV!tune in!and find out.


	2. Chapter 2

Life with Edward Elric. 

chapter two:China bombs and wedding bells?

The tv ed had previously transmuted was now playing last weeks few scenes of interest.

it all started one fateful afternoon.

flash back like music plays in background.

Sam started to recap to brita about an odd dream she had had about edward.Brita pointed up and sure enough,ed had been listening and playing out the role he had in sam's dream.

Edward was jumping about on the roof of the art building,on one leg flapping his arms about like some lunatic on crack.Only he wasn't on crack...atleast as much as I know...

Ed:Toy boat Toy Boat Toy Boat!

Sam,seeing as how high ed had been,started to panic

Sam:ED!GET DOWN HERE YOU LUNATIC ON CRACK!

Ed jumped down,landing perfectedly fine...ontop of sam's head...that is.

Ed,just now noticing who he was standing on,got off sam and picked her up off the ground,dusting her off,and as if they were meeting for the first time.He took her hand and shook it...madly...hyperly...ect.

And after all that he pulled her into an embrace,with his misplaced hand on her ass.

All three of them went into the art class,and got a table,and as they all sat down,Ed professed his love to sam!

soon Ed then asked if she wanted to get hitched,and being one of those semi-normal edward fans,went nuts and said,as if you didn't see this one coming...,yes!

Sam:So where are we getting hitched?

Ed:In Vegas.

Sam:Don't they say whatever happens in vegas stays in vegas?

Ed:Yep,which is exactly why once we do leave vegas,we won't be wed anymore.

so after a long and boring wedding,the two of them stayed in vegas for their honeymoon.and then went out of vegas.

Sam had tossed her ring over the edge of a bridge,the beautiful diamond ring floating down into the depths of the river.  
Edward however,had thrown his ring pretty far...all the way to china,to be exact.

the chinese where all settling in when suddenly this ring flew out of no where!

Chinese man: picks up ring Edward...Elric?Edward Elric.Hmmmmmmm.

Well this is the start of something even crazier.  
Sam's beautiful diamond ring had been picked up and eatten by a hungry fish,the fish had then been eatten by a dolphine,which had then been eatten by a shark,and the shark was in china and had been caught,and as they gutted it,the chinese found Sam's wedding band.

Chinese man: picks up the ring Sam...Sam?First an Edward Elric,now a Sam?

a meeting was held to see what the rings meant.

Chinese Man:Edward and Sam must be...GODS!

People of china:GODS!

Chinese Man:yes!GODS!Legend speaks of two blessed rings that will be carried to our great land,and inscribed on them will be the names of the gods!When they arrive we shall worship them!

China People:What about the flame god?

Chinese man:WHO CARES!we have new gods!

Fire god: behind chinese man,in big booming voice WHAT TWAS THAT!

Chinese man and people:...nothing...

back to sam and ed

well both sam and ed hadn't been talking for days,not to say they were mad at eachother,I guess the wedding was so stupid and worthless they felt like shitheads.

until ed had this crazy idea.

Ed: runs to sam and grabs her by the armSam!I have this idea!LETS GO TO CHINA!

Sam: smacks ed That...is the best idea you've ever had!LETS GO!

so sam and ed travel to china,where they meet the village that had their wedding bands.

China man:Who you?

Ed:I'm edward elric

Sam:and I am SAM!hyper

China people:WHAT?all stare on in shock and move in,grabing sam and ed,who struggle

As so the chinese grab their "gods" and dress them in godly like clothes.

Sam:Umm...you have any clue whats going on?

Ed:I wish I did...

The chinese start to bow down to them.Ed and Sam are totally clueless...as if anything else was abnormal.

A/N: Nice ending --; tired,hehehhehehe, tiredness and hyperness are great together...really they are... snore

see ya next time...snore


	3. Chapter 3

**The Crazied tales of a crazied person!**

**Chapter 3**

As they were being worshiped,A big booming voice had changed the chinese people's train of thought,lets put it this way.It crashed,It burned,and the ants that were people were screaming,yelling madly,and fell like fallen ravens on a brisk absentminded day.

Sam scratched her head awkwardly as ed just pretty much stared at the people like -Well as long as they aren't eating us.-

Sam turned to look and saw,oddly enough,Roy Mustang standing behind her!Edward was busy with a scandally clad girl starting to sit in his lap when Sam quickly prevented it by stabbing her elbow deep into his side,Causing him to yelp inwardly and push the girl off him.He turned a bit angered,but at least he could breath.

"What!" ,He whispered,she only pointed and he turned his head,fuming a bit more at whom he saw.

"God damnit,and I thought we'd be rid of HIM!",he shouted.Roy smiled and waved at them.

"Ohayo Hagaren no chibi",he greeted,this only made ed fume more,Sam did too and they both shouted.

Ed: IM NOT SHORT!  
Sam:THATS MY NICKNAME DANGIT!

The Chinese people started backing off,hey,they were GODS and if they were angry it'd mean the end of the earth as they knew it!

Okay maybe not earth but close...

Roy then lead the two makeshift gods to a corridor lined with pretty girls and handsome men of all kinds and shapes and curves and--I'll shut up now.

He slowly turned to them both."So how are you enjoying your stay."

"Its fine",Ed replyed a bit.Surprised Mustang wasn't picking on him like he did back in central.Maybe the food wasn't all that got to his brain?

"We're gods now too by the way!" Sam replyed back from Eds previous one.

"Speaking of which if we're gods ,how the heck did you get here Mustang?",Ed questioned cockily.Roy smirked slightly and it suddenly got a bit heated in the narrow corridor.

"Can't you guess...?",He questioned smugly and started to grow in height,and wider,which is one side of Roy no fangirl of him,nor ed,ect.,Would wish to see.I apologize for the visual.

His voice became deeper,and he was soon revealed to not be Roy Mustang at ALL!

He was now a big puff ball of flames.

"GREAT HEAVENS GOD AND GREAT BALLS OF FIREEE!"

dun dun DUN dun Dun Dyaaaaaaaaa

A/N: End of Chapter three,Chapter four shall be rushed as I write it before FMA comes on :boogie: tootles!


	4. Chapter 4

**The Crazied Tales of a Crazied Person!**

****

**Chapter Four-**

**"a kiss that causes the gods stomaches to tremble!"**

Sam and Ed quickly backed away,sweating heavily from not only the heat of the gods ever lasting flame body,the narrow corridor trapping in the heat,but from fear of their ever drawing doom.

The Flame god was the first to inquire why they were to be made GODS when--Wait,they have things for things like inquires right? Now what were they cal--

Flame God: WILL YOU STOP JAMMERING ON AND GET TO THE POINT!

Sam: Yeah..ya know,we _CHARACTERS_ in your twisted story need more text time!

Ed:...isn't it screen time?

FG and Sam: OR THAT!

ALRIGHT ALRIIIGHTT! oy..

"So you two are SUPPOSEDLY the ones to replace me hmmm?",the flame god _**INQUIRED**_ like I said he would...

Ed was the first to retort his quick 'n trick point

"yeah and whats it to you? We don't do autographs!"

"Ed theres no place to even SIGN on...the ink would dry up!"

"you tell me this now...?"

The flame god was obviously annoyed,and yelled at the two baffling idiots,knocking ed and sam into the walls of the corridor with his scream.

"ENOUGH!",he bellowed,Ed and Sam lay limp,our heros were unconsious! OH NOESSS!

with that a darkened cloud attacked the people of china.

"Our gods...they have failed us...",the brave old chineses bowed their heads in there prays..

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey ed...? you awake yet...?"

a calming voice was the first to wake our Blonde hero from his accidently slumber.

Golden eyes laid upon softly burned pink skin,soft still to the touch..but causing the wearer of the skin to flinch and groan in her agony...

Edward found the god he was paired with,Sam,Atop of him in what looked to be the very pits of hell...

"Yeah I am..b...but are we dead?"

"I..I'm not sure..but...Ed everythings getting dark..."

Ed turned to her inquiring with his expressession,that is until he saw how weak she was,how...fragile she looked,he gently pulled her into him and wrapped the remains of his robes into her skin,she yelped louder in sufferable agony and clung to him,whimpering to him.

"Listen,Sam, I need you to live..."

"I...Ed..I.."

"just do it!"

TO BE CONTINUED!

_**Authors Notes: Dude,I hope everyone of you enjoyed it! btw,to the reviewers-**_

_**To destructivegodess-mayhem-Aaawws dearressttts! This chapters just for you !**_

_**LOVE TO ALL OF YOU GUYS OUT THERE! XD!**_

_**This is WTTAs Signing off XD**_


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